The Mechanisms

OFFICER CALLAN
Interview begins at 14:32. Good morning, Jonny.

JONNY
Already? Where do the nights go?

OFFICER CALLAN
In your case, the headlines. We’re still figuring out how many dead.

JONNY
I counted 36, but I had a lot to drink. Speaking of which, do you mind if I smoke?

OFFICER CALLAN
And how do you plan to do that in handcu… Oh. Clever. I should really put them back on.

JONNY
I’m not planning on escaping, Dan. I’ve had my fun for now.

OFFICER CALLAN
That’s one way to put it. You’re a monster.

JONNY
Quite literally, yes.

OFFICER CALLAN
Of course. For the same reason we can’t execute you.

JONNY
It just doesn’t work. It took you lot long enough to figure out. Even I don’t know how to kill me. I once tried to use the gravity from a singularity to rip the mechanical bastard from my chest. Nothing.

OFFICER CALLAN
I think after the first dozen attempts they were just doing it for fun.

JONNY
Ah. That’s a motivation I can respect.

OFFICER CALLAN
Is that what you call it? Fun?

JONNY
Live long enough and you will, too.

OFFICER CALLAN
You’re insane.

JONNY
Nope. They determined that at my psyche evaluation, over a decade ago now. Probably before your time actually. It’s why I’m the responsibility of the boys in grey, rather than the loony bin doctors.

OFFICER CALLAN
How can your actions possibly be sane?

JONNY
When you’re waiting for a train, or, what is it you have here? Those Mag-Lev things, when you’re waiting for one of them, and you’re bored, what do you do?

OFFICER CALLAN
Well, I…

JONNY
You find ways to amuse yourself. And there’s only so many books a man can read, Dan.

OFFICER CALLAN
So you’re waiting for, what? A ship? You’ve been ruining people’s lives around here for almost 30 years. I’ve got case files on dozens of break-outs, rampages, schemes. And that’s only the last decade.

JONNY
They are a bit late.

OFFICER CALLAN
So, this waiting, this is why you’ve spent your time raping and pillaging Metropolitan?

JONNY
Not raping.

OFFICER CALLAN
Yeah, I noticed that. You’ve committed literally every crime we have a name for, but nothing sexual. Why?

JONNY
I couldn’t tell you. As far as I’m aware, it’s the only boundary the Doc gave me.

OFFICER CALLAN
And you’re clearly happy murdering women.

JONNY
And men. And all points in between.

OFFICER CALLAN
And children.

JONNY
Now there your file is a bit lacking. It says I’ve killed children, but it fails to point out that, in fact, what I’ve done is kill annoying children. I feel that’s an important distinction. Most children are far more fun alive than they are dead.

OFFICER CALLAN
Like the time you broke into the kid’s ward at the Metropolitan Central Hospital and read them ghost stories?

JONNY
And none of them died. Well, not because of me. It is a hospital, after all.

OFFICER CALLAN
That doesn’t make you a good person.

JONNY
And I’d shoot anyone who said it did. Is this going to be much longer? There’s less beating than most of your interviews, but you do go on.

OFFICER CALLAN
I just thought I’d see if I could understand why you do it.

JONNY
You mean what I hope to gain from it, when every time I’m hunted down and caught by that rogue cop of yours, what does he call himself? The Whimper?

OFFICER CALLAN
The Whisper.

JONNY
He must be getting on a bit, now. It was at least 25 years ago I killed his family.

OFFICER CALLAN
He still manages to catch you every time.

JONNY
After I’ve had my fun? It’s not much different to calling a taxi.

OFFICER CALLAN
A taxi doesn’t beat you to a pulp.

JONNY
Precisely why I avoid them. So what is it to be this time, detective? Seal me in cement and bury me at sea? Chop off all my limbs again? I thought that one was very creative.

OFFICER CALLAN
My superiors have decided to… Do you hear something?

JONNY
Huh, do you know what? I think it’s my ride.

[There is the sound of an explosion, followed by mechanical whirring]

JONNY
There you are! For fuck’s sake, I thought the Doc made you out of a clock? You were meant to pick me up decades ago.

UNKNOWN
Quit your whining, remember that time you left me inside a sun for almost a century?

JONNY
I was busy.

UNKNOWN
You were drunk. Anyway, consider us even.

JONNY
Fine, let’s… Is that recorder still running?

UNKNOWN
Tough little bastard. Let’s go.

END TRANSCRIPT