Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard

I’m Guinevere, the fastest draw,
My hand is fate, my word is law,
And you should fear me.
Call yourself a true gunslinger,
See who has the quickest finger,
Draw your gun.

I’m Lancelot, the sharpest aim,
Don’t try to play me at this game,
You’re doomed to failure.
You gave in to base corruption,
Brought about your own destruction,
Draw your gun.

I’m Arthur, I will rule this town
We’ll drive you out and run you down,
Your reign is over.
Sheriff Stone your death is soon,
Your time is up, the clock strikes noon,
Draw your gun.


Guinevere draws quickest
Her shots are clean and sure
And Ezra and Ezekiel
Lie bloodied on the floor

She fans out four more chambers
And Jezebel goes down
With a new quartet of holes blown
In the flesh around her frown

Nathaniel stands the tallest
The meanest of Stone’s clan
Until three shots from Lancelot
Leaves him dead atop the rusted sand

Ruth and Nicodemus
Mordacai and Obediah
All take a heartbound rifle shell
As he blows through them with fatal fire

Finally there’s Arthur
Who stares down Sheriff Stone
He draws and fires, and leaves her kneeling
Coughing blood and bits of bone

“Do it, you piece of-” [GUNSHOT]